Why am I this way? normalllllllll?

..Normal? What is that anyway? I think you already are quite well aware of the possibilities of both sides of this, and what may or may not possibly happen by being in the mindset you are..I always look at competition as if I were a child's only role model who is present and always watching me..What would I want them to learn, what do they see when they are watching me, and am I getting the most important points across to them that will help them in a positive manner throughout their future..Looking at it in this view really does give us a different perspective on things and we should always remember that although there may not be a child present, there is always someone watching our behaviour who will implement this into their own behaviour.&..Being as good as you say you are, I am quite sure there are many young kids who want to be just like you in sports..However, if ones hates to lose in such an extreme way as you seem to be, it not only could, but it eventually will come back to bite you..Is this healthy competition or is this pent up anger and aggression that you are taking out on the game and others, and instead should address it in the right way..The other side of this is that if you plan on going to or competing in the olympics one day, then you must give it your all in order to get there, which can also and should be done with a little more humility..Wanting to be and doing your best is one thing, but having to be the best above everyone else, no matter what the cost, is a totally different matter, and one you should probably give some thought to, before you fall..If you have never looked deep within to see how you might feel if you lost, then it might be a good time to do just that because therein lies the real issue of the "why".. Take care..